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Bud Grossmann’s
Words of the Week
for the Week of
November 30, 2008
Previously unpublished fiction.
© 2008 by Bud Grossmann.
All Rights Reserved.
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Spectacles, 2004
© 2004 by Bud Grossmann
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PLAYING IT SAFE
Debbie, yes. Wearing foam earplugs, I used an engraver to mark my precious food containers. I’m sure you wonder why I mark things.
#1, I’d like them returned after I send food home with guests; when I visit Clarissa, I poke around in her dish rack. (Ha, ha, half kidding.)
#2, I am compulsive. So what?
#3, I’ve bought the same items several times, fabricated in China. So far, so good, but if someday I find the lids don’t fit snugly, I’ll try matching up lid with box from the same manufacturing lot.
I don’t put my name on my undershorts in case I have to leave them on a married woman’s bedroom floor when I jump out the window to escape her gun-toting husband. (In such situations I keep my wallet, keys, and eyeglasses in a fanny pack belted around my waist.)
You’re so gullible. I know you are going to examine my boxers and say, “Wow! No name, no initials, no date of purchase! He really does sleep with married women!”
♦
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