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Bud Grossmann’s
Words of the Week
for the Week of
September 13, 2009
Previously unpublished fiction.
© 2009 by Bud Grossmann.
All Rights Reserved.
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Three Cats, 2007
© 2007 by Bud Grossmann
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NON-PHARMACEUTICAL ATTEMPTS
TO ALLEVIATE ANXIETY
Dave,
How are you as a cat psychologist?
I think I have a totally neurotic cat. I knew Pokemon had not eaten all day yesterday because he was outside. I fed him some dry food in the basement but he had moist food (canned cat food) upstairs waiting. He made a number of trips up the stairs to get to the food last night. He got as far as the top stair and then saw my housemate, H., at the table and retrieted back to the basement. At 3am I went to the basement and talked to Pokemon about eating and told him he is loved. I could tell when I got up this morning that the food was untouched. I remember H. quacking like a duck and making the cat run sideways out of the room to get away. Pokemon is a most unusual cat and remember he is still ferral. Well, to make matters worse, I could not get Pokemon to come up to the kitchen this morning to eat either. I finally brought the moist food down to the basement to get the cat to eat. So, Dave, what can I do to get this cat to act normal again?
Jessica E.
Richmond, Calif.
From your description of your kitty cat's behavior, Jessica, I am led to wonder if perhaps your housemate has been treating your pets inhospitably and disrespectfully. If that is the case, it may be your housemate, rather than your house cat, who would benefit from counseling or other treatment. Have you tried quacking at H., as a means to advance the discussion of your concerns? Have you, Jessica, considered acquiring a rattlesnake and placing it where H. will have an opportunity to quack at it? Although snakes' ability to perceive quacking has not been proven, rattlesnakes often promptly bring tranquility to discordant situations where traditional psychological approaches have been inefficacious.
Won't you please let me know if my suggestions turn out to be helpful.
Sincerely,
David C. Fischer
Uncredentialed Advisor
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