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Bud Grossmann’s
Words of the Week
for the Week of
November 1, 2009
Previously unpublished fiction.
© 2009 by Bud Grossmann.
All Rights Reserved.
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Bananas, 2006
© 2006 by Bud Grossmann
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AN APPEALING OFFER
From: David C. Fischer <d—@juno.com>
To: "Jessica Ellenshear" <j—@msn.com>
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:31:33 -0500
Subject: Re: 9:06 your time
2:10PM
Okay, thanks, Jessie Jessie Bo Bessie Banananana Fo Fessy Fee Fie Foe Fum Me Oh My Oh How Mildly Messy—Jessie! At 2:06PM, my time, I belatedly received your kind invitation to telephone you. My mother has required some extra care today. All is fine at last, but I do not have time to call you, and, besides, I feel bad whenever I inconvenience poor Professor Rostolsky. So, I send you this e-mail, wishing you good job hunting for the rest of the week (or less, for I hope you will receive a good offer before week's end). If you are granted the position with the Call-A-Cook service, I'm sure you'll do great; I bet many a man would consider himself privileged to pay $2.95/minute to hear your lovely voice whispering recipes over the phone.
Bye for now.
Love, Dave
Oh, wait. I'm sorry, I just remembered some culinary news that might interest you.
While getting a gallon of milk for Mama today at Grover's Grocery, I pointed to an oozing, blackened hand of bananas on a rack by the register and asked the cute cashier the price. "We have more bananas," she said. "Want me to bring some out?"
"I'm making banana bread," I said. "How much are these ugly ones?" An assortment of larger, not-quite-so-softened bananas lay scattered on a shelf, but the seven smallish fingers of the blackened hand were exactly what I would need for my customary batch of four loaves.
"Free to a good home," said the cute cashier.
"Sold!" I set down the jug of 2% and brought out my wallet. The cute cashier began bagging bananas, approximately four times as many as I had hoped for. She emptied the rack and shelf. I said, "Oh, my!" I was tempted to protest her act of generosity, but I said instead, "Maybe I'll bring you a loaf of banana bread."
"These are really good in Belgian waffles," the cute cashier advised me.
"What days do you work?" I asked the cute cashier.
And that, for now, Jess, is the end of my story. If another chapter comes along, I will let you know.
Love, Dave
♦
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