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There are two kinds of people in the world: those who would say that Robert Benchley beat me to this realization, and those who would console me by pointing out that someone quite probably beat Benchley to it, too. While Benchley is known for, among other things, having identified the two kinds of people in the world, I myself am somewhat famous for a smart-aleck line (delivered in Professor Henry F. Becker’s English class in 1967) about a paradox, a witticism I actually stole from a Bazooka Comics strip. Paradoxically, I eventually, with no help from bubblegum, ascertained there are two kinds of physicians in the world. If I were confident of the accuracy of the title of this piece, I’d be tempted to tell you what a lady cheerfully once told me about the two sizes of breasts.
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