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Bud Grossmann’s
Words of the Week
for the Week of
July 17, 2011
Previously unpublished fiction.
© 2011 by Bud Grossmann.
All Rights Reserved.
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Montana Man, 2011
© 2011 by Bud Grossmann
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IT WOULD BE SO EASY
TO SHOOT HIM!
Sat., July 16, 2011
11:37AM
Dear Debbie,
You say you’re skipping a scotch tasting? Well, that seems more sensible than skipping a scotch taping.
Sure enjoyed your Gravel review.
Come up mid-week and we’ll make an event to share.
Yesterday afternoon I petted (or, as knitters say, I pet) the gorgeous golden retriever the Girodets have been dogsitting, and, when Mattie wandered over by the curb to squat for a long pee, Tom described dog poop that he hoped he had not permitted to be pooped in my yard, which, as of that time, he had not. Today, however, when I returned from the post office, I found two rain-softened, fly-bedecked feces heaps beneath my Norway maple. They matched impressively what Tom had described. If I’d been thinking, I’d have taken a photo for you. Do you like illustrated stories? As I bagged the items on the lawn today, I tried to recall the clean-up chores I routinely performed for the three beloved doggies at my Hawaii Kai home. I can picture, I can feel, my long-handled mini-rake and my Japanese-yardman sheetmetal dustpan, but I don’t recall where I dumped the doo-doo on the days between city trash pickups.
Fis(c)her Reunion is traditionally the third Sunday in August, but Betty Lou was late in making her reservation this year. I believe the picnic is scheduled for August 28, the last Sunday of the month.
John Winkowitsch called this morning, while I was on a call with Gary. I asked Gary to hang up, and then I asked John to hold while I called Gary back for a conference call. They enjoyed each other; this is the first time they’ve met. Near the end of the conversation, John said we should have taped it, and I said next time. He has a cheerful Montana rancher’s manner of expression, like a man in an Annie Proulx story. He told us he attended a September 1963 campaign appearance by John Kennedy in Great Falls, Montana, Winkowitsch recalling a woman in the audience marveling at how very near she was to the president and remarking to another woman, “It would be so easy to shoot him!” He told us about snagging a leather glove in moving parts of a combine on a farm near Luverne, Minnesota, on the twenty-ninth of October, 1954, his hand mangled and arm trapped up to the elbow for an hour-and-a-half “like in a wringer washing machine.” He described what he’d been told about the doctor’s car tires throwing gravel as the doctor headed out on the long drive to the wheat field. He told us about years later, bow-hunting for deer, lethally releasing an arrow with his artificial right hand. He told me I might expect a call from his niece Esther Briggs, who might like to see the picture I’ve posted of him online, who, when working at a hotel in Las Vegas with four thousand employees, was named Employee of the Year, who was photographed with Elvis Presley at the hotel. Esther Briggs, John said, was “pissed off” when the Elvis photo was published without her consent. “John,” I said, “I’d like you to tell Esther you signed a model release for me, all right?”
That’s not the half of it, but the conversation was briefer than you might suppose.
The speech Kennedy gave in Great Falls is available online. I plan to read it, probably will print it and mail it to Winkowitsch. Hair stood up on my arms as I began to read. I postponed my perusal not because of the tingling arm hairs, but because I am monitoring some ephemera on Craigslist. Amazing, disheartening, what people choose to flag.
Esther Briggs is online, too: “Hello, my name is Esther Briggs, and here is a little bit about myself: I live in Las Vegas, Nevada and work at the Las Vegas Hilton. I have had a very fun and interesting life. I’m met and served a lot of stars and was also married to a Country and Western entertainer. I’m very adventurous - I’ve bungee jumped and recently learned to snow ski. Scientology is an adventure - find out why.”
Did you see the Medal of Honor recipient, Sgt. Petry, on The Daily Show?
Well, I better get going here. Had a late breakfast, think I’ll have a snack. I fried some steaks from memory couple nights ago, which is to say, I recalled reading in TNY or in a Dining section Dad clipped for you or somewhere a recommendation something like, pan fry a steak on high heat, flipping the meat every fifteen seconds. But I wasn’t sure, I thought maybe the cook said thirty seconds. And for how long total, I couldn’t recall. But I decided to try it with a nice Angus round roast ($2.69/lb. at Piggly Wiggly). I sliced it into three one-inch slabs and fried it in my cast-iron pan for something like four flips at forty-five seconds, six flips at thirty seconds, some more flips at fifteen seconds, for a total of ten minutes. Then I shut off the heat and let the meat rest in the pan for ten minutes. Oh, did I mention the part about closing the kitchen door so the smoke alarm in the hall would quiet down? Round roast doesn’t have enough fat to satisfy me, but it was medium-rare, juicy, tender, tasty. I took a salad and some of that steak to the farm last night. Dad warmed it in the microwave and he said it was good. I will try this method again. Quicker than broiling, less mess.
Love, Dave
♦
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I would welcome your thoughts on this page (or any of my
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Thanks! BUD GROSSMANN
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This page was first posted Sat, Jul 16, 2011, 3:23PM CDT;
it was updated Sun, Jun 15, 2014, 1:40PM CDT.
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© 2011, 2014 by Bud Grossmann
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