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Bud Grossmanns
Words of the Week
for the Week of
January 29, 2012
Previously unpublished fiction.
© 2012 by Bud Grossmann.
All Rights Reserved.
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Ulysses S. Larry, 2006
© 2006 by Bud Grossmann
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HIGH FINANCE
One icy, foggy morning in January, a woman with whom David Fischer has long been acquainted arrived at his Fjord, Wisconsin, home unannounced. She presented him with a hug, a six-pack of Stella Artois, and a check for four hundred dollars. The beer, it was clear, represented a thank-you for a loan made four days earlier, now repaid in full.
That evening, alone in his home, drinking a Stella, Fischer decided to calculate the rate of return on his investment. He figured the six-pack had a value of seven dollars. 7 divided by 400 is 1.75%. Fischer divided that percentage by 4 to get his daily rate, and multiplied the product by 365 to find the APR. If his math was correct, Fischer had received 160% per annum.
Fischer opened a second bottle of Stella and continued to press buttons on his calculator. If the woman had kept the four hundred dollars for a full year and brought him a six-pack every four days, he would have received, in the years time, ninety-one six-packs—almost five hundred and fifty bottles of beer. Imagine carting the empties to the recycling center, a staggering responsibility! Imagine reporting this good fortune on a tax return! Fleetingly, Fischer felt an unfamiliar affection for certain politicians and for others among his fellow financiers. ♦
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This page was updated Sat, Jan 28, 2012, 12:06AM CST.
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© 2012 by Bud Grossmann
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