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Bud Grossmann’s
Words of the Week
for the Week of
April 1, 2012
Previously unpublished fiction.
© 2012 by Bud Grossmann.
All Rights Reserved.
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Brick Wall, 1973
© 1973 by Bud Grossmann
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A SWEET RELEASE
minneapolis craigslist > personals > strictly platonic
swap naughty thoughts - w4m - 32 (minneapolis)
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Date: 2012-03-27, 11:34PM CDT
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i think about things. you think about things. let's share. i'm 32, a swf, shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes and busty. you are a guy with something to share. wanna?
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2*2*4*5*1*
Delicious simplicity. While looking for motorcycle ads, I ran across this posting, and it reminded me of an old joke about a guy applying to get out of a mental hospital. The review board asks what he plans to do if they let him out, and he says, "I intend to ... buy me a ... slingshot. And then ... I am gonna ... come back here. And I am gonna ... bust every goddamn window out of this place!"
And of course the people on the review board ... well, I'm sure you can imagine where the joke was going, the man's first attempt, and a year later, his second, and it's a joke, right, so the third time's the charm. You can imagine, I'm sure you can imagine, the sorts of naughty thoughts and ambitions that would somehow seem to make sense to the keepers of the keys.
Yeah. Well, anyway. I was saying. I was telling you about the Craigslist ad. I have read it a dozen times. I love the rhythm. I find it mesmerizing, like loading a slingshot and letting the pebbles fly, one by one by one.
Of course for me the lady's invitation has no real appeal because she's too young. Scarcely more than a girl.
I'd be crazy, wouldn't you say? don't you agree, I'd be crazy? if I didn't close my eyes ... and picture her ... picture her ... picture her ... as, say, you know ... like ... a woman of sixty-two?
Ohhh, yeah, she's going to love this. I'm going to tell her. Then I'll let you know how it goes. ♦
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