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Bud Grossmann’s
Words of the Week
for the Week of
November 15, 2015
Previously unpublished fiction.
© 2015 by Bud Grossmann.
All Rights Reserved.
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Something-or-Others (2015)
© 2015 by Bud Grossmann
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IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK
While his wife perused Walmart shelves nearby on a Thursday afternoon in November, David Fischer found himself drawn to a display of 48" tall something-or-others offered for ninety bucks apiece in the toy department. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Fischer had attended the first Star Wars movie, but it turned out to be “not his cup of tea,” and he never saw any of the others. Therefore, he would not have been able to tell you what the something-or-others were if he had not read the printing on the cardboard pedestal on which each one stood: Star Wars First Order Stormtrooper™ and Star Wars Darth Vader Battle Buddy™.
An elderly white woman, someone with whom Fischer was until then unacquainted, pushed a near-empty shopping cart up beside Fischer, stared with a sour face at the something-or-others, and growled, “Who’s going to put one of those in their house?”
Fischer understood the question to be rhetorical, but he thought some sort of respectful reply might be appreciated. He suppressed the temptation to say, “How the hell would I know? I can’t predict the future! And, by the way, that’s my wife over there. Stop flirting with me!”
Instead, Fischer told the woman, “Ha, ha! These are lawn ornaments.”
Fischer believed his remark to be witty and false, but I suggest you drive by his garden next spring if you are interested in an update to this story. ♦
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This page was updated Sun, Nov 15, 2015, 1:21AM CST.
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© 2015 by Bud Grossmann
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